A book review by Nicole King
I can’t remember why I picked up this book a couple of months ago. Most of my reading comes by way of recommendation, either from a friend, a blog, or from a suggestion on amazon.com. I think I first heard of this one through a blog, but whatever the reason, I’m so glad I read it! I’m sharing a brief overview because I think you might be glad to read it, too.
Written by Seth Haines, an attorney and writer living in Arkansas, Coming Clean is a raw and honest chronicle of his first 90 days of sobriety. Seth is a lifelong Christian who leads worship at his church and has a wife and four kids. On the outside, nobody would have thought he had an addiction.
His youngest son Titus starting developing serious health problems around 6 months of age. Titus was diagnosed with “failure to thrive,” which is just a way of saying that doctors had no idea why he couldn’t hold down food and wasn’t growing. Alcohol had been a part of Seth’s life for several years, but it wasn’t until he was in the hospital, planning funeral songs for Titus, that he decided he didn’t ever want to feel again. He convinced his sister to smuggle in a bottle of gin, and that’s when his addiction began.
Whatever experiences you have or have not had with alcohol, this deeply personal story is also highly relatable. We all let things come between us and Jesus, and there are many varieties of “sin management” that help us cope with pain. Joining Seth on his spiritual journey is an encouraging challenge to clear the path. Whatever it is that we are clinging to, whatever it is that we rely on apart from Jesus, Seth inspires us to surrender.
He wrestles with hard questions, ones that point him back to some of his earliest childhood memories. In one instance, he reflects on the question, In what ways am I alienated from God?
“I am a Christian who has used systems and liquor—both addictions in their right—to numb the pain that God might not answer my prayers, that he might not heal, and that ultimately, he might not be present in my life. The pain is evidence of this area of nonconformity, and I have used these vices to dull the pain.”
Through counseling, Seth realizes how much damage was caused by an incident with a faith healer that happened when he was only 7. Between that “failed” experience (he still has asthma to this day) and his son’s health problems, he had given up on prayer—at least, on the inside. On the outside, he continued to serve at his church and say all the right things. When he gives up alcohol and starts being still before God and really listening, he is able to enter into a new kind of relationship—one that is mysterious and far more satisfying than the complicated systems of theology he had used to contain and understand God.
In addition to his honesty, I enjoyed the warmth and character of his prose. The book drips with southern character—he regularly uses words like “reckon.” The way he describes his grandfather in particular is like a window into another generation and another culture. As a parent, I was a little distracted by some of the background details. At one point, for example, when he describes how much he drank the week before he quit, I was less impressed by his ability to imbibe than I was by the fact that he managed to get all four kids to bed by 8:00 pm every night.
Distractions aside, it’s a fantastic book that I highly recommend. It’s encouraging and can give you insight into other people’s struggles with addiction, if not your own. You can order a copy from christianbook.com or from amazon.com. (If you order from Amazon, be sure to add Hope as your chosen charity—the church receives a percentage of all eligible purchases.) You can also check with the library or just catch me next time you’re at Hope. I have a copy you can borrow.
Happy reading!